Should You Date After a Break-Up

Friday, July 31, 20090 comments

Having advised hundreds of couples looking to win their ex back, I can tell you from experience that whether you should date after a break-up is one of the most common questions I receive. Such situations are usually far from unique - it's been a month or two after a bad break-up, your ex is still on your mind and you still want them back no matter what.

And then suddenly that special someone shows up. What do you do? Tell them that you're not available and focus on winning your ex back (which may well be impossible?) Or plunge into the new relationship and try to let go of your ex, no matter how hard it is?

You may be surprised to hear that the two options are not mutually exclusive. In general, dating after a break-up isn't just great for helping rebuild your self-esteem - it's also one of the most powerful ways of winning an ex back! The key is to be honest with your new partner about your mutual expectations.

If you are lucky enough to have an opportunity for dating under these circumstances, go for it !

>> Firstly, it will help you rebuild your self-esteem, lift you out of the depression that you may be going through and get your ex out of your head by giving you someone else to think about.

>> Secondly, it will also show you - like nothing else can - that yes, there is life beyond your ex; in other words, there's light at the end of the tunnel (and no, it's not a train).

In addition, dating someone new is a great way to win your ex back. From experience, I can tell you that nothing makes your ex obsess about you than letting them see you with someone else (it's also one of the reasons why I recommend my patients to avoid monitoring the lives of their ex-partners). Very often, simply seeing you with someone else will be enough to make your ex realize that they're really about to lose you for good - and that realization can often make them reconsider the break-up in the first place.

In short, dating after a break-up is a great way to both bounce back emotionally and win your ex back later on. The key is to be open and honest with your new partner about your expectations and your immediate past. If you can accomplish that, then meeting someone new will not only be fun and exciting, but also help you win your ex back in the long run ;-)

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