How to Ease the Pain of a Breakup

Tuesday, February 24, 20090 comments

By Kim Lance, Associate Publisher of Online Dating Magazine

As the saying goes, breaking up is hard to do. If you have decided to end a relationship that carries with it any feelings or emotions, it is important to evaluate your approach to breaking it off to avoid hurting the other person. Proper break-up etiquette depends largely on how long you and your partner have been in the relationship, how serious the relationship is, and whether or not the feelings are mutual.

When ending any relationship try to do it with class and compassion. Here are a few tips you should follow when it is time to break things off, but remember each relationship and reaction is different, expect the unexpected as a response.


Be Honest

Don’t try to make up excuses for breaking up if they aren’t there. Just tell your partner why the relationship is not working for you. Feeding him or her the “it’s not you, it’s me” line may make you feel like you are letting your partner down easy, but he or she will most likely see through this and may even make up reasons why they are unlovable…causing them more hurt and heartache.

Don’t String Them Along

If you have decided to break up with someone, there is no reason to drag out your relationship. By avoiding the breakup, you partner may be growing more and more attached, something you certainly don’t want. When you want to end a relationship, let the other person know as soon as is appropriately possible so that their feelings do not continue to deepen and develop.

End It For Good

The last thing a person being dumped wants to hear is “I really want to continue our relationship as just friends” when they are still in love. It is best for all concerned to give the person you are breaking up with some time to get over you before trying to build a friendship with them. Also, don’t try to change a romantic relationship to a “friends with benefits” relationship if you know the other person still harbors feelings for you. This may give the other person false hope that you want to rekindle the romance when, in reality, you don’t. This can lead to confusion and hurt feelings in the long run.

Break Up In Private

Don’t think that just because you are in a public place when you break up with someone you will successfully stop that person from making a scene. Sometimes strong emotions cannot be stifled no matter how many other people are around. By breaking up with someone in a public place you are putting that person in a potentially embarrassing situation on top of the stress of being dumped. This shows a lack of respect on your part. Breaking up is something that should be done in private so that any emotions can be expressed without embarrassment.

Follow the Golden Rule

No matter how you decide to break up with someone, it is best to always keep the golden rule in mind – do unto others as you would have them to unto you. If you were being dumped, you would want the other person to show honesty and respect towards you. Keep this in mind when planning your break up strategy. Don’t treat your partner in any less of a manner than how you would expect to be treated if the situation were reversed.

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Kim Lance is the Associate Publisher of Online Dating Magazine , an Internet publication covering online dating through news, reviews, experiences, interviews, and articles.

This article is copyright and may not be republished. Used with permission


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